Mommy Love

Yesterday was a perfect holiday. P and I got to sleep until 7:45 (late at our house). I went for a long run and decided to do the stairs over at the high school. Came back and got some much needed house cleaning done while the boys played outside and helped P with yard work. Then we went to a cookout and had the best barbeque and fun time with good friends.

Mommy Love is what I call it when I need some love from my boys. As in I need my mommy love. That is C and R's cue to give me some hugs and kisses. C always obliges and initiates sometimes, but R is starting to enter an affectionate stage. He'll be playing or eating lunch and all of a sudden he will shout BIG HUG! or BIG KISS! This is his demand for some love and I am always happy to give him some.

Yesterday, C was needing some Mommy Love. It was so sweet. I got back from my workout and he was upset because he needed to see me. (This is pretty unusual for him. Usually when I take him anywhere, I am lucky to get a wave goodbye - then I have to steal a kiss!) I had to run to the store for a few items in the afternoon and C ran out of the house needing a hug before I left.

I know there might be a time in my future (hopefully a long time off) when he will come home from school, throw his backpack down and head to his room without saying much to me. Maybe if I bank all this Mommy Love now, it will carry me through those days. Although, I am not above standing outside his door and waiting for him to come out and give me a little Mommy Love.

To paraphrase an article written by Maura Sheehy entitled Beyond the Baby Years, I have a desire to hang on to this magical moment when my children are little and I am blessed with excess. Unlike in any other stage of my life, I am doubly aware of its occurrence and its passing. I wish I could be like Zen and let the days stream through my fingers like sand as I rejoice in each grain of a moment. But I musn't try to stop it. I know that if I don't allow this time to pass, I'll miss all the riches yet to come.